| im feeling yummy from head to toe. |
[08 Dec 2008|12:02am] |
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talked with milton for like three hours.
there's something about talking to your ex's bestfriend that just wasnt hot tonight. ;P lol
i feel better. so much better. he let me bitch<3
so i lost little jesse michael or lexus marie. hahahaha.
i want to let go of him/her one day. not now.
talked to milton about some deep personal things i thought/felt towards joe. felt good to let them out. get them burried.
he gave me his number and said it'd be nice to hang out.
loved to. he wants to talk tomorrow.
i think ppl really do care about me; i just havent let them in.
i thought joe cared about me. he was what i was compairing everyone else to. big mistake. no one else dissed me.
i love my friends.
i love volunteering.
i love learning amazing things in school and developing new ways of interpreting and seeing things.
i love my job and my co-workers.
i love my volunteers.
things are great. life is awesome.
im getting the right things from the right people. i'm ok with them all being guys. i'm not a whore. never was. never will be.
i'm a great person. i do great things. its becaue i have great people in my life.
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[21 Nov 2007|02:18pm] |
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i have a puppy.
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[22 Apr 2007|12:03am] |
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tireeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedddddddddddd.
this pic is kind of silly to still have. :/
later.
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[12 Apr 2007|11:47pm] |
hmmmmmmmmm. i'm good.
sometimes i think i should delete this or make my entries friends only/private bc it might incriminate me.
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| work |
[07 Mar 2007|10:43pm] |
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i start work on friday. oh, yeah. that makes me super rad
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[26 Feb 2007|11:18pm] |
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i have a job at nordstrom :)
spent 4x of what i'm getting paid on friday so i can have a cute outfit to wear on friday.
:)
i just need the blonde locks
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[19 Feb 2007|08:07pm] |
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i want a job! =(
mmmmm. k lates
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| when i hear music, i start to dance |
[03 Jan 2007|08:37pm] |
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i applied to beach bums last night.
pray for me??? pleazzzze??/ =(
i hope i get the job. it'd be FANTASTIC because they have 575, true religion, paul frank, frankie B, volcom, electric, penguin... you know, the works.
they stopped carrying diesel. mades me saddess.
i dont have much retail experience. ok, i have NONE. but i did intern with two well known companies. :)
at the hospital today i had to take a JUG of urine from CCU to the lab. it was gross bc some was leaking. had to wear gloves for my own protection.
the whole gang invited me to go out with them to a dinner and movie. eew. with high school students? no. i'd feel like the "ADULT" of the group, youknow?
so i got a LV handbag, coach shoes, tiffany necklace, iPOD TV adapter, CAPOTE and another handbag. thats all. oh, and a ji-normous glass of alcoholic drink. mmmmm belve vodka<333 couldnt finish it. passed out. aparently had sex 5 times and performed oral. :D meh, so what if my reputation's out the window. at least i'm not breeding.
i'm thining about getting on the pill. i can get a prescription at the health center at school. that way it doesnt show up on my mom's health insurance statement.
the end.
PS
i'm so gorgeous! got a haircut a long ass time ago but its worth mentioning. hector is god
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| You know your guy rocks when... |
[02 Dec 2006|11:33pm] |
you know your lover ROCKS when
*he gives you a box of designer chocolates that ACTUALLY make you ORGASM
*he gets you designer shoes, and without know your shoe size, they fit perfectly
and he compliments you beyond words
and a kiss
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[05 Nov 2006|09:25pm] |
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i got new sevens and trbj and a couple rvca shirts and a luxurie (LRG) jacket and a shirt and a gentle fawn scurf and an active boy beater and a few shirts from the gap. damn, it feels good to receive grants. :)
http://www.mypoupetters.com/lvphotogallery/piano37.jpg
i'm getting that for xmas. maybe. i'm not sure if i want it. i like it and all but i think its too much for just an xmas gift, you know?
i'm getting joe's wallet next week.
that's all.
later
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[15 Oct 2006|04:35am] |
its times like these i regret not going away to college
he works like 40 hrs a week plus school.
i block the walkway when he comes over. he tells me to move.
it was my excuse for him to touch me. yeah, i was that desperate.
i lay on the couch, hardly give him any space to sit. again, desperate for him to touch me. maybe he'll pick me up and put me on his lap or something.
no, i was stupid to think that.
i miss him. he tells me he misses me. i'm just his excuse to have a good time. he goes out with his brother and forgets about me, like i dont exist. i dont exist to him.
i try to make him comfort me by telling him i'm sore. he says "..oh," and continues with his story.
he returning his jeans at nordstrom and getting them at half price at bloomingdales AND finding sevens at urban outfitters for 60 bucks is more important than me.
what i have to tell him:
keep yourself busy, that way you can completely forget about me. ie, i'm not that important to you.
it hurts. we hardly talk. he's too busy with work. he'd rather work. he bitched and moaned. he said he was working from 1 to 5 tomorrow. they call him up to ask if he can work from 8 to 5. he doesnt say anything so they assume he's ok with it. i guess he likes working and not spending time with me.
we hardly talk. we dont communicate. intimacy is out of the question. he talks to me, doesnt have time to listen to me.
our convos after work are, "hey, babe. i'm so tired from work. it was really bad. i'm gonna go shower in a bit but i have time to talk with you for a bit. my brother did this..... blah blah blah about mom. gay guys at work. ok, i'm gonna go shower. goodnight love ya."
missing something? oh, i'm sorry. i lied. he does ask me how i am or what i'm doing. then he goes on to talk about himself for twenty minutes. fantastic.
i dont to cry about it.
ana wants to party at oxy then party at santa barbara. we both have bfs so nothing is scheduled to happen. i dont claim to have one at the moment. fuck it, he's just too horrible. its his fault. i called him just now to go our seperate ways or threaten him. tell him how i feel.
yesterday we talked. i talked. he listened. he got pissed off because of the outting ana wants me and her to have. he said he was mad because he'd miss me. yeah, like i said, if he doesnt do anything, he misses me. when he's busy, i'm out of the picture.
i'll be busy tomorrow. we'll talk on monday. not really, itll be like all mondays and wednesday. drive to eat. eat. drive home. bye.
he works on the weekends. he doesnt talk to me, open up, when he talks to me over the phone. sometimes its because his brother's around and he's too much of a man to do so and other times its because he talks too much about himself to talk about us or even me.
the end.
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| why is every guy in the classroom looking at me? i must look extra hot tonight |
[11 Oct 2006|05:45am] |
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maybe it was the cute, body-hugging sweater i was wearing? um, no.
hah.
all the guys in my religious studies class sit the back except for a few old geezers and a really cute twin who sits to the left of me.
i made the mistake of wearing a medium-rise BRIGHT lace thong with ultra low trbj JOEYs. haha
good lord, i was almost full of myself. lol, who am i kidding, I WAS! i was like, check me out, got all the boys' attention. smoking, jess! but no. it was due to my sluttiness. lol
well, now i know how to grab their attention when i want to.
weird day. my 3:55 bio class was cancelled. no one signed in so i guess i didnt have to. the test was bumped back until tues.
went home. went back to school at 6:50 exactly.
our next test is schedule for halloween.
this is the plan i have for halloween. i get dropped off at 3:30. joe picks me up at that time. we take harbor down and get a room. fuck each other until 6. i take the test. 25 questions, so i'll be out in like 20 mins. we go back to our room. screw some more. maybe go to knotts halloween fest. then fuck some more afterwards.
i'm flippin horny. ugh, woke up this morning with female wood. i had a dream i was doing joe on the love sac (beanbag-type furniture, actually called a "love sac" for those who dont know). i woke up to myself grinding.
i've missed my last two periods. i doubt i'm pregnant.
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[01 Oct 2006|11:55pm] |
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chaka kong
i'm liking the college life.
i'm #2 in all my classes so far. sweet!
i've lost muscle mass because i dont do shit, dont even carry a backpack. that used to work out my abs. i carried joe's backpack for a little bit, on our way to the parking lot. on mondays and wednesday, i only have one class. he has 3. he goes to class in the morning from 7-8:30 ish. does hw at the student center. then we go to class from 11-12:30. i go to the car. he goes to psychology from 12:45 to 2. i walk my little ass to his class at 2, not carrying anything. he usually looks tired from work and school, so sometimes i try to carry his backpack. boy, did i feel THE BURN.
so yeah. it's been hot lately and now really cold. i'd love it if i were cold the next few days. not rain.
oh, i drove for the first time on streets. it was scary. i drove from my house to the 55 south to way past the irvine spectrum. i freaked. i thought me and my pops were just going around the block and he'd drive me over there.
almost cried but i couldnt because my dad would yell at me.
when i got home, my hands were so tired from gripping the steering wheel and red. still are, a little bit. but yeah, i dont want to drive anymore. fuck getting any car i want from my pops. i am SO not driving. its going to put me on the the list to get a freaking heart transplant.
yeah, i suck so bad. cant park. cant make turns for shit. cant even go straight. so i give up.
my little ana's at uc santa barbara. i know i completely dissed her on this and i've said shit but i never meant it. what i do with her is the same of what i do with joe. totally make it look like i hate them, but in small doses, they a'aight.
joe works a lot and we havent really connected on an intamite level. we havent really "talked." it bothers me but there isn't anything i can do about it.you know the situataion really blows when even i give up. he's always working. when he's not working, he's cleaning. and when he's not cleaning, he's doing school work. when he's not doign school work, he's playing video games with his brother. gosh, i hate his brother. they sleep in the same room and he bonds WAY more with joe than i do with joe. like, in their own little way (playing video games) but it's still bonding the way they like it. what goes on when joe comes over is we have sex or something. i dont mind especially now that i've caught up with a 14 year old boy's sex drive. i seriously dont mind that at all. or the foreplay but the foreplay's the closest thing i get to a, idk, higher level or our love. he kisses my neck or hugs me from behind or tells me i'm the most beautiful thing he's ever seen or i have the biggest smile in the whole entire world or he brush my hair off to the side to see my face or anything like that. even when he touches my knees or anything that isnt too sexual. i love that but it never lasts long enough. we have to end our nights with us both wanting more of that good stuff. there simply isnt enough time in the world.
last night could have been awesome. we could have spent a nice, quiet evening at his house but his brother had to call and tell him to bring his angels tickets to the park because he had forgotten them. ugh, it took us forever to get there. totally ruined our plans. joe picked me up at 7. he had to go buy ice at the beauty supply place in costa mesa, the only place where he can get that stuff. it was closed. it took us forever to go down bristol. we had to take the streets because the onramp near by was closed. has been closed. so yeah. our night began at 8:30 p.m.
not much went our way. the gods didnt favor us that night. blockbuster didnt have the lake house. dinner was lame. before he left was nice, though. we were mad at each other. i got bitchy as said "yeah, hah. "right," and "OH-kay" in bitchy tones. he told me to stop interrupting him with those phrases. so ms cool jessica said "that's fine." he smiled and started laughing. then said he couldnt be mad at me. so he hugged me. i tried not ot laugh. really did. i smiled a little but totally stood my ground ;P
the thing was that i used to say "that's fine," another word for saying yes. he'd say "that's fine" but i wouldnt know if he was saying yes or no. you know? so then i finally got fed up with that phrase earlier that evening at chevron. first of all, because i HATE it when people steal my cool phrases and shit. and B, because i didnt understand what the fuck he meant by saying that.
he said he wouldnt say that again.
thats why i told him "thats fine" at the end of our night.
the end.
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[14 Sep 2006|01:49pm] |
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i'm busy busy busy
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[24 Aug 2006|11:54pm] |
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angels lost to the red sox.
=(
saw a couple of fights. sox fans startd them. tsk,tsk
it was 2 to 1. not much.
alex invited me to go bc ana couldnt go bc she was working.
it was fun. i got a sticker from alex. yaaaaaaay
what sucks is that joe doesnt pick up.
i really really really really miss him a lot a lot a lot. i've called him three times already. i let it ring for a full 30 seconds. had it as a private call. =( no one answered. maybe someone's using the phone. *sigh*
i'm half naked and this was SO going to be a booty call. my sis and pops left to sacramento this evening. its the only night i have the room to myself. well, at least for this month.
poo face, where are you?????
=(
it wasnt a total booty, i wanted to talk to him. he worked 8 hours. maybe he went out with his brother.
=(
i feel sad.
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[22 Aug 2006|12:04pm] |
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it's 12:03, where's my "I Love Lucy"...
did i miss daylight savings ending?
i got my books for school. :/ i got one thats about the kids in the "barrio." ethnic studies with a "hispanoablante"-- what can you expect?
*yawn*
i feel blaghish??
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[17 Aug 2006|10:58pm] |
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i start school in a week
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[10 Aug 2006|12:47pm] |
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i'm bringing sexyback
so what if i've been busting the stripper moves while downloading music
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[04 Aug 2006|08:39pm] |
Poll #786131
how bored are you at the moment?
Open to: Friends, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 1
how bored are YOU at this very second?
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| ragh! |
[04 Aug 2006|02:46pm] |
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i'm almost swimming now.
i lost weight.
i register for the fall semester today. one more hour to go. i'm taking evening classes and afternoon.
eth st 100 from 11:10am-12:35pm mw
bio 100 3:55-5:20pm tTh
rel st 150 6:50-10pm t
coun 102 6-8:05pm th
bio lab 7:50-11am f
i did my fall semester on excel. its color coded and everything.
got the latest catalog from urban outfitters today. i need to lose at least 15 more pounds to get into fall clothing.
my stomach's flat. yaaaay. my clavicles are HOT. my hip bones are getting there. my arms are little. i'm not sure what size jeans i am because i've been wearing pj's or my fat pants or boardshorts lately.
"hey there cupcake" book was just mentioned on montel. i highly recommend you google it. the lady makes cupcake burgers, cupcake sushi, etc etc.
yawk. i have a cold from last night. it was pretty overcast and i went to the pool. i had terrible on and off fevers last night. it sucked.
welllll... i'm off.
later skaters.
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